Manifesto of the Broken-Hearted

"How come you never go there? How come i'm so alone there?" - with those words Leslie Feist kicks of her latest single, recently released as a part of the album "Metals" - another beautifully crafted work of art by the Canadian musician who has brought us so much joy and heart-break before, and it is in the heart break that i want to focus here, because it is so easy for us to take it for granted.

You see, a heart break can be a beautiful thing, a weapon of mass construction, it can build songs, paintings, installations, books, journeys and even careers. It is not by chance that we are put to test like that, it is not by chance that we are compelled to feel our heart ache so much that it feels like we don't want to feel anything at all. Just like we need to fall, in order to learn to get back up, maybe it's getting our hearts broken that will teach us how to master the art of falling in love and dealing with every heart break, minor or major.

It is so easy for us to feel like the other one is at fault, or that we did it all wrong, and then to turn ourselves in martyrs; but why, i ask? Why should we put ourselves through so much pain and misery? It is ok to feel the pain, but living through it is the best part, let's look at it from another angle, maybe this pain that comes from a heart-break is like a rare delicacy, it's like that flower that blossoms only once in every few years, and we need to enjoy it as much as we can instead of trying to smash it down, for there is beauty even in the ugly; didn't someone once say that "the beauty is in the eye of the beholder"?

Well, what i would like to propose here is an exercise, it's a new way to look at our pain, whatever that is and wherever it comes from, and to turn it into something beautiful; like songwriters compose songs that sweep our hearts away, we can transform our pain in something that will make us happy. Through our pain we may discover a new passion, we may find a new friend, we may come to terms with older issues that were put to the side, because a heart break puts us in a place of fear and unease, it also puts us in anger and frustration, and those are all feelings that are great fuel in life, especially for our creativity.

So lets look at our heart break and gracefully learn from it, let's look at what we did that could have gone wrong and at the end did. We are only human, we are not in control of life, we can't decide how other people think, feel or react, we can't control other people's actions and emotions, so what we are left with is our own stuff to deal with. Let's look back at our previous heart breaks and think about how much of it was really just because we projected much further than we in fact were living. Let's look at our expectations and our romantic ideas, and then try to see if the other part involved shared those same ideas and expectations,or if maybe we had allowed ourselves to interpret further and make up reasons for our actions based on our own feelings, not in facts.

Even though it sounds awfully mechanical, it is also truly reasonable, because if you put things in perspective like that, it also helps to alleviate the pain, because it's like science, you can't argue with it.

Now, even after much rationalization, there will still be pain, because a broken heart is a broken heart, you can mend the pieces but parts of it will never be the same, and isn't that a great thing? Because your feelings can change, evolve and grow; you can learn to turn those amended pieces in a great friendship, or you may turn them into a work of art that will blow the world away in lovely inspiration, or it may also be the last drop you needed to really focus in that career you never pursued because your mind was too distracted with other things.

You see, a broken heart is a beautiful thing, because it changes you, because it makes you look at yourself and the world around you in a different way, it makes you reflect on yourself and your life, it makes you put things in check, and it will always be a great reminder of your capacity to love; and if you really give your broken heart all the love and attention it deserves what you may encounter at the end is even more glorious than what you started with.

Below is a video of Feist performing "How come you never go there" on David Letterman. Enjoy! ;)

In the Land of Jolie

Whenever i sit to write in this blog there is fuel that drives me. Many times the source is one particular matter that raises a certain question in my head that pushes me to sit and write and share my ideas with the world. Every now and then it's not one, but the clash of several different matters that push me to write, in this case the clash of ideas that brought me to my knees is not an easy one.

I live in New York City, a half a block away from the United Nations, i meditate on that building constantly as a way of trying to find peace, i look to it as a source of inspiration, because i would like to think of it as a place where politics, religions, beliefs and economy are all neutral and in perfect harmony, even though i know it isn't. Many nights on my way home I stop and stare at that building and wonder what thoughts and prayers are going on in there, what matters are being brought to the surface for discussion, and which of those matters are in fact being addressed and which ones aren't. I always try to think of the United Nations as a place of peace, i try to look at it as a place of reflection on life in this tiny world we live in and for a second my heart gets filled with hope.

Well, last night i went to a different building in the city, the Hearst Tower, symbol of money and power of the american empire, but a place where thoughts come to life in print and websites and media in general; and also the place that houses Marie Claire magazine, which had invited me for a private screening followed by a Q&A of Angelina Jolie's "In the Land of Blood and Honey" the movie she wrote, directed and produced, about the war in Bosnia; a very controversial movie but also a brilliantly made movie; a movie that raises all the right questions, that stirs all the right feelings, that throws you to the ground and shakes you to look for your human soul.

Angelina Jolie has always been a very mysterious woman to me, a very layered gorgeous woman; she is the bombshell, the actress, the mother, the humanitarian, whatever it is you want to label her as, she can be, i see her as a Swiss army knife, actually, i don't, because a Swiss army knife has limitations, and Angelina doesn't. Mrs. Jolie is a powerful woman and she uses the power she has been given very wisely.

In her directorial debut, Mrs. Jolie told a story that many people don't want to tell, she told the story of something that the world didn't even want to look at as it was happening, in Bosnia; ugly things done by human beings to other human beings, she told the stories of the war, she managed to brilliantly place the viewer inside the war, next to the soldiers and the victims, she made you feel all they felt, and you could not pick a side, you could not decide who the villain was, because they all had their part in it, they all came in with their beliefs and they all turned into something else as soon as the war began.

Angelina Jolie showed us what it feels like to be in war, to see horrific things on a daily basis, year after year, after year, she made us understand that there is no sense to any of it, that friends and neighbors can turn into enemies in the click of an Uzi, just because. That is frightening, and we don't want to look at it, it is in our nature to look away, we don't want to know what happens there, we don't like to be put in that position, because we don't want to question ourselves what would we do if we were put in that situation.

Before the movie started, Angelina came out with a message; "Over the next two hours, you will feel uncomfortable and you will want to stop the movie and leave, but these people, they had to live through these things for three years, they couldn't leave, and many of the actors in this movie were there when it happened, so please don't leave."

Well, no one left, and we all wore those Bosnian shoes, and that is exactly what will happen to you too upon watching "In the Land of Blood and Honey", because Angelina Jolie will not settle for less then the absolute truth, she will not settle for less than the reality, and if the film doesn't end the way you expect it to end, well, you will have to suck it up, because in war, things don't necessarily end the way we want them to end.

Mrs. Jolie is a serious woman who takes her job very seriously, and when given the opportunity to tell this horrific story she decided to do the best job she could to show the world how things really happened, not how we hoped for them to turn out in the end, because in war there is no romantic ending, there is just the end. And then some other war begins somewhere else.

If the story was taken from a book of a certain gentleman or not, that doesn't mater, controversies aside, Angelina Jolie was the right person to tell this story, Mrs. Jolie has the means and expertise to make it work, she made sure that the movie reflected what really happened during the conflict in Bosnia, and because this movie has Mrs. Jolie as its creator people will pay attention to it and they will buy tickets and they will go watch it, even though the theme is tough to digest, so it doesn't matter where the story came from, but the story was told the best way it could be told, the story reached it's full potential for the screen and hopefully will help raise awareness of millions of people around the world, because that's why i write and that's why movie makers make movies, because we want to send a message, that's how we know how to help, we inform people through our craft and hope that the message sticks.

So what i took from my encounter with Mrs. Jolie was that if more people in Hollywood were rolling up their sleeves like she is, and Mr. Sean Penn is, and Mr. Steven Spielberg is, then we would have a much better chance of changing the world, because we still live in a celebrity driven world, and if more actors and directors used their celebrity status to give us the truth then we would have a much more educated young generation.

Angelina Jolie is a much bigger person than you would think of, and i feel profoundly honored and privileged to have been able to meet with her and share thoughts and ideas on some of the most difficult world issues, issues that we both care and fight for; in different levels, but still, we are both doing the best we can in our capacities, we are both being the best human beings that we can be.

Letters to Haiti

Hey everyone,
last night was a very special night for me, Lakay Pam, a non-profit organization that is very dear to my heart had their third fund raiser event in New York City. The evening was a huge succes in great part because of the support of the ever so lovely Coco Rocha who makes magic happen, but also Behati Prinsloo, Milk Gallery, James Conran and all the amazing photographers who donated their work to a very successful silent auction.

I have been on board with Lakay Pam to help raise money and awareness for the children in Haiti for many many years and i am very proud to say that little by little we are now able to help and improve the lives of thousands of children in Haiti. Let's not forget of the people who need us, it takes very little effort to cause great impact in other people's lives!

Have a read on this little article I wrote for LookBooks on the event last night! CLICK HERE

Culture: Letters to Haiti

In an evening of relentless rain, New York City's most die hard charity fans  showed up for Haiti. The event led by supermodel Coco Rocha entitled "Letters to Haiti" came to show that when you mix, fashion, art and humanitarian causes you can't go wrong. In it's third fund raiser, the non profit organization Lakay Pam, founded by Cedrick Roche and his wife,Carolina Bittencourt-Roche - moved locations, leaving the grungy Opera Gallery in Chelsea and Mr. Brainwash's colorful installations behind to inhabit a more minimalist spot.

The gallery at Milk Studios included works by Victoria's Secret model Behati Prinsloo, Greg Kadel, Enrique Badulescu and Ben Watts, among others; all up for auction to help raise money for the charity that supports orphanages and schools in Port Au Prince

 But the main event of the evening was James Conran's documentary screening which also gave name to the event - "Letters to Haiti" - in which Mr. Conran depicts  the efforts of Coco and Behati along with a couple of friends in bringing letters and donations from around the world to the children of Haiti. As some of you may know, James Conran is Coco Rocha's husband, a talented designer and now also a filmmaker.

Coco's efforts didn't go unnoticed and she managed to bring out her buddies Karlie Kloss and Hillary Rhoda as well as long time friend Mr. Zac Posen who made sure Rocha had a fresh-off the runway look to wear for the evening. Before the film started. We heard the warm laughter of Lauren Santo-Domingo trading impressions of Ms. Prinsloo's pictures with make up artist Joe Hubrich and Carolina Bittencourt-Roche discussing blogging with her friend Luciana Curtis.

After the screening of the documentary was finished, Coco reminded everyone that the silent auction was about to begin, but – and said, "If you can't bid or donate, then maybe you can spread the word and help us raise awareness, Haiti still needs you".

The message was received, and it seemed that the guests were in pretty good holiday spirits as most of the photographs were sold with no fuss; well, except for one very colorful photography by Ben Watts; generating a bidding war that culminated with the designer Ana Lerario-Geller having to outbid an unknown gentleman by a hundred dollars in the last minute before the bidding closed. Merry Christmas Robert Geller!

All in all it was a fun night out on a very boring rainy New York evening where the holiday spirit could be felt in full force.

 Gabriel Ruas Santos-Rocha, to see mroe of his writing click here. 

All photos courtesy of  Josh Wong Photography

Pilgrimage

Here is a link to a little piece I wrote for LookBooks.com on the gallery opening of Annie Leibovitz's "Pilgrimage" - I hope you like it!

Annie Leibovitz Goes on a Pilgrimage with New Exhibit

West Chelsea saw a true fashion pilgrimage last night when fashionistas likeTory Burch, Marina Muñoz and Jamie Johnson flocked down twenty second street making their way through a shoot for the TV show Damagesthat made traffic through the street impossible. But nothing could stop them as they had a mission: to attend Annie Leibovitz’s “Pilgrimage” exhibition opening at The Pace Gallery – hosted by none other than Anna Wintour, the fierce editor in chief of Vogue.

 The expectations surrounding this event were huge. This was Mrs. Leibovitz’s first purely digital project and the subject of her portraits this time were not the famous faces we are used to seeing in the pages of Vanity Fair or Vogue, but places and objects that are special to the photographer and also represent a special place in the world’s history.

Among pictures ofEmily Dickinson’s last remaining dress,Elvis Presley’s television, Sigmund Freud’s couch and Abraham Lincoln’s hat, photographer Claiborne Swanson Frank told stories about her first book project set to come out next year while It girl Lily Kwong giggled about having to find a party dress on a budget for a story she was working on for Vogue.com –- “Give me 200 bucks and I’ll make it work!”

Coco Rocha made a quick appearance with her husband James Conranon their way to a friend’s dinner. The couple is also getting ready for their own event next week, the fundraiser for the non-profit organization Lakay Pam that helps to improve the quality of life for children in Haiti. Coco will be hosting her third fundraiser for this organization, but this time they will also be premiering the documentary Letters to Haiti as well as showing an exhibition of pictures shot by her friend, Victoria’s Secret Angel Behati Prinsloo, during a visit they made to the country last year.

In an evening where art seemed to be the guest among a fashion crowd,Chuck Close’s presence was a great reminder of the goal of the evening: to celebrate art and history. Mr. Close seemed to be impressed by Mrs. Leibovitz’s work: “It’s interesting to see an artist like her stepping out of her comfort zone to shoot inanimate objects like these. The result is beautiful. I have never been a person who takes pictures, in fact I don’t think I have ever taken a picture during a vacation or anything like that. I like to keep those moments in my head, so it’s interesting to see these pictures displayed like this.”

The evening went smoothly in the warm environment of the gallery, among glasses of white wine and canapés, Karen Elson, Narciso Rodriguezand Prabal Gurung mingled in perfect harmony with Catherine Newell-Hanson, Eugenia Gonzalez and Michelle Harper. Mrs. Leibovitz signed books to her friends and when the clock ticked 8pm there was barely anyone left -- as it would be expected from the kind of in-crowd that filled the guest list.

Photographs from Pilgrimage will be exhibited in New York at The Pace Gallery on December 1, 2 and 3 and next year at the Smithsonian American Art Museum in Washington D.C., from January 20 to May 20, 2012. The book Pilgrimage has been published by Random House and is available now.

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